Tuesday Night Cafe, August 2, 2011

From the bottom of my heart, I'd like to thank all of my dear friends for coming out to support me last night at Tuesday Night Cafe!

I'd begun attending (and occasionally performing at) this community-organized event series back in 2000 after I graduated from UCLA. I was so grateful to the Tuesday Night Project for offering this safe space for musicians, poets, comedians, spoken word artists, actors, visual artists, and other creative people to come share their visions, causes, and art. On the first and third Tuesdays of the month in the spring and summer, I would come out to Little Tokyo to soak up the amazing creativity, activism, and heart-felt support of the Tuesday Night community. I always left feeling newly inspired to write or draw or craft something. Unfortunately, after I moved to Orange County, it became more and more difficult to make the trek up to LA on a weeknight when I had to wake up at 6 am for work the next morning. I really missed these events, but recently, I have been able to get my monthly dose of inspiration from Common Ground on the first Thursday of the month down here in the OC.

Last week, I received an invitation to perform at Tuesday Night again! I only had one poem prepared, but my work with Julia Cameron's The Artist's Way taught me not to slam the door in fear when opportunity comes knocking. So I said "yes!" ... and then I panicked. What would I write? And more importantly, what could I write that could possibly have any performance value? I brainstormed, made lists, sorted through old poems, started to write ... and then deleted what I'd just written. I was a mess. I'd been to enough Tuesday Nights to know that feature artists who perform there are super talented and can own the stage. Who was I to think that I could just go up there and read a few measly poems, when I'd let my poetry skills get rusty over the years? But then I remembered what Tuesday Nights is all about: It is a warm, welcoming, womb-like space where you can bare your soul and take HUGE creative risks (read: make a total fool out of yourself), and everyone will accept you for who you are and cheer you on.

So I stopped over-thinking the matter, and just began to write from the heart about things I've been thinking about. Here's a video of my performance if you missed it:

These are the pieces I performed:


The Inspiration Habit

Habits.

Bad habits, and addicts

through revolutions of RESISTANCE.

A blocked brush. A paralyzed pen.

PROCRASTINATION

is a pretty little package of practical predictability.

Habits.

Happy habits, and addicts

of inspiration and creation.

Flirting with children's illustration,

making time with poetic rhymes,

feeling up the freelance flavor,

getting down with fiction's friction...

The Inspiration Habit

beats back resistance,

blows up blocks,

bats away excuses,

breaks down fear,

and brings the fight here—

to the stage

and on the page,

at the canvas

and true art's kiss.

Verbalness, an Affair with Words

“Sandy, you are in the top one percentile of verbalness.” 

—Words of wisdom by Jenny Yang, dear friend, performance artist, writer, and creative lifer extraordinaire

When did I first fall

in love with words?

Perhaps I heard

the verbal siren’s call

in my mother’s songs of longing,

lingering notes

of loss like twinkling dust motes

in my mind’s eye,

murmuring of homeland memories.

I recall meeting the alphabet,

letting the letters roll

across my lips, and teeth, and tongue,

the vowels stroll

along the dips, and leaps, and rungs

of language—lovely, lilting, languid language

that granted me the key,

to stories—strange and stunning,

tales of change, and courage, and cunning.

To poems of passion and pain,

stained with stirrings of the soul.

Yes, words are my most loyal lover.

For even when I stray,

words do not betray.

They always speak true

Of what I know I must do.

Conversations with Tiki

[ME]

Tiki, just quit my job

Gave up my benefits,

I resigned, now it’s all gone,

Tiki, life had just begun,

But now I’ve gone and

Thrown you in the mix—

Tiki, ooooh

Didn’t mean to make you cry—

If I’m not back again

In just two hours,

Carry on, carry on, as if

Momma’s there beside you…

(Inspired by Queen's “Bohemian Rhapsody," 1975)

And Tiki begged:

Please don’t leave me

Please don’t leave me

I always wait by the door for you

But you always put me outside on my own

Please, don’t leave me

(Inspired by Pink's "Please Don't Leave Me," 2009)

But I just couldn’t take it. I was tearing out my hair. I didn’t know what to do with him. I cried:

I go crazy, crazy, Tiki, I go crazy

You poop and pee,

And hump on me

Yeah you drive me

Crazy, crazy, crazy, Tiki baby

What can I do, Tiki

I feel like strangling you…

(Inspired by Aerosmith's "Crazy," 1993)

But Tiki, he looked up at me with his sad puppy eyes, his precious little brown eyebrow dots, and his one floppy ear. He said:

So I cry, and I pray and I beg…

Love me love me

Say that you love me

Pet me pet me

Go on and pet me

Love me love me

Pretend that you love me

Walk me walk me

Just say that you’ll feed me

I can’t care about anything but food.

(Inspired by The Cardigan's "Love Fool," 1996)

And I replied:

And we’re getting closer than I ever thought we might.

And I can’t fight this feeling anymore.

I’ve forgotten what I started fighting for.

It’s time to curl up cozy in my lap

And take a little nap, together.

‘Cause I can’t fight this feeling anymore.

I’ve forgotten what I started fighting for.

And if you have to pee upon the floor,

Come crashing through that door,

Tiki, I can’t fight this feeling anymore.

(Inspired by REO Speedwagon's "Can't Fight This Feeling," 1984)

Overall, I felt comfortable on the stage. I took a huge risk singing in public (outside of a karaoke joint), but I really had fun with it. As Jenny put it, I went "balls out." As I was the first performer of the night, I was able to relax and enjoy the rest of the show.

Next up, was Scott Okamoto, who performed excerpts from his non-fiction writing. He shared his musings on certain forms of American entertainment that aren't exactly created for an Asian-American audience and very funny stories about his students. Open mic performers included a beautiful musical performance and some great comedy. Then Damnyo shared her powerful poetry and Room to Improv did a HILARIOUS musical called "The Never-ending Keg" (title supplied by a very clever audience member). Jenny Yang shared her poetry and had us all chuckling with her stand-up comedy. The night ended with sweet, quirky, and empowering songs by the Sam Kang Band. Our wonderful host Johneric even convinced them to perform one more song for an extra musical treat!

As always, I had so much fun and fueled up on inspiration. I can't wait for the J-Town Summer Sessions event this Saturday!

And don't miss this Thursday's Common Ground event August 6, 7-9 pm at the 

VAALA Cultural Center, 

1600 North Broadway (cross-streets 17th & Broadway), 

Santa Ana, CA

Art, music, and community rock!